


sorrow

by SkyRose



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Character Study, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Psychotropic Drugs, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 08:12:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19081015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyRose/pseuds/SkyRose
Summary: When Thor opened his eyes, New Asgard was gone. He was stood in an empty field. He expected to see Odin but—“Really, Thor, Nepenthe? I would have thought better from a man raised by a witch,” Loki deadpanned, standing before Thor in green and black leathers.





	sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> For the trope "altered states of the mind".

Thor had developed a bad habit of gulping down whatever bottle of liquid lay in front of him. To be fair, it was nearly always beer. Thor drank a lot of beer these days. Brunnhilde claimed he was drinking  _ too much, _ but, well, like she could really talk? 

And no, he was not drinking away his sorrows like she had been on Sakaar. Thor was fine. He was happy. New Asgard was growing every day. He had Valkyrie, Korg, and Miek. And lots of beer.

He was fine.

So, he took a swig of the bottle that sat on the end table next to the couch, figuring it was beer. It wasn’t. It was bitterly medicinal. A potion. Thor glanced at the label. Nepenthe. Thor had heard it before, he tried to remember when and where. He tried to remember if it would kill him.

Thor’s vision blurred. Then everything went black.

\---

When Thor opened his eyes, New Asgard was gone. He was stood in an empty field. He expected to see Odin but—

“Really, Thor, Nepenthe? I would have thought better from a man raised by a witch,” Loki deadpanned, standing before Thor in green and black leathers. 

Thor blinked. “Am I dreaming?”

Loki looked Thor up and down. “Perhaps you need to do a little forgetting. How’d you get Nepenthe? Did you stop by Mount Olympus?”

“I don’t understand,” Thor said, falling down into the grass. “Am I dying?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “No, no. You’re just high.”

“Oh,” Thor replied. “Nepenthe is a…”

“Its purpose is to rid the consumer of sorrow,” Loki said. A memory sparked in Thor’s mind of a younger Loki sitting in the royal library and stating the same phrase. 

“Then why would you be here?” Thor asked. “Seeing you only ever brings me sorrow.”

Loki tilted his head. “Do you often see me?”

Thor nodded. “All the time. When I’m drunk or sleep deprived or… I miss you dearly.” He could feel his eyes begin to sting. He wished his mind would let him move on from Loki. He hadn’t struggled this much after his two false deaths.

Loki stared at Thor with a deep frown. 

The first time Loki died, it was as a villain. Twisted by envy and pride, nothing like the boy Thor had grown up with. Thor was racked by guilt when he fell off the bridge but he hoped that, finally, Loki had peace.

The second time Loki died, it was as a hero. Thor felt pride in the fact that Loki had fought at his side until his death. It was tragic and dramatic and such a perfect death for him that Thor, in some moments, wasn’t even sad.

The third time, the real time, Loki died, it was as himself. A trickster trying to pull one last desperate trick against a foe so much more powerful than him. And Thor watched helplessly. And then Thor couldn’t even stop Thanos afterwards. He couldn’t avenge the death of his brother and his people. Thor had never felt such despair.

“I don’t regret my actions,” Loki stated, as if he could read Thor’s mind. He supposed he could, as he was simply a vision Thor’s mind had created. “And you shouldn’t regret yours. You did all you could.”

“I failed you,” Thor replied, letting his tears spill onto his cheeks. “I will regret that for the rest of my life.”

“The fight is not over, Thor,” Loki assured him, stepping closer to Thor. He kneeled, bringing his eyes level with Thor’s. “Thanos is out there, as are the stones. You can still win this.”

Thor closed his eyes. 

“You are King Thor of Asgard, Son of Odin, God of Thunder. There is nothing you cannot do.”

His head spun. When he opened them, Loki was gone and he was back in his room.

“Thank you, brother,” Thor slurred before letting himself smile. He hadn’t let himself smile in a long time.


End file.
